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A celebration of the life of

Steven Thomas Cresswell

11 December 1970 - 27 August 2009

Video of the Celebration of Life

Hold my hand and walk alongside me

The path is difficult and I cant always see the way.

Ask no questions, just walk beside me

Comfort me when I fall, but allow me to crawl

Just hold my hand

Listen to my soul – sometimes there are no words.

Understand when I stop for a while….

Stand beside me.

Guide me – do not lead me

For in my heart I know my way.

Discover and learn with me

There is so much for us to share!

Know that sometimes I may need a gentle hand,

Never push me

Remember we are walking

At my pace.

Accept then, when I can no longer continue this journey

But know that you have touched my life

And my hand is still there.

 

J. Blackman, 5am, Night Shift, October 2001

BoneMarrow Transplant unit, Constantiaberg MediClinic

Alison's Words

It is Difficult to define my love for Steven in a speech.  He came into my life and showed me how wonderful life could be, he totally captured my heart. He was optimistic and buoyant, always lifting me up when I was down, full of fun and uninhibited.  I think it was quite apt that we met at a ‘chuckles for charity’ show, as Steven had a wicked sense of humour….. always telling jokes and was the life and soul of a party. 

He was a successful businessman and an excellent salesman, A client would come into his shop to buy a screwdriver and he would end up selling them an expensive powertool.

His girls, Jess and Rozie meant the world to him and they enjoyed many hours on his boat, waterskiing and having fun.  Rozie shares his love of horses and has that special connection with them that Steven had. She had a civies day at school last term where they had to dress up as their sporting hero…..her friends dressed up as their soccer & rugby heros, but Rozie dressed up as Steven, her horse riding hero. Jess is a Highland dancer and Steven has been at every concert she has participated in.  He encouraged her to do her dancing 4 times a week as he thought that would keep her mind off boys and give her less time on mxit!

In February he was diagnosed with acute lymphocytic leukaemia. It was the beginning of sharing anti-depressants with him and some role reversals!  My chemoboy spent time in the kitchen teaching the girls to cook and bake bread, and he sent me off to BPM to help run the shop. There were many times where we felt like we were on a rudderless boat, with lots of hospital stays and many serious infections, but apart from a bit of chemo brain, some tingling in his fingers and a sexy bald head…..he fought his hardest to kick cancers ass.

During the past 6 weeks he channeled his energy into a charity project that he was Passionate about. He wanted to get big screen tv’s for all 8 wards in the bonemarrow Transplant unit. After many hours of sitting on the phone and sending emails, he had Enough money to buy all 8 TV’s and money left over to get dvd players for each room.

It is hard to say goodbye to someone who was such a kind soul and who I simply couldn’t get enough of.  Thank goodness we did not travel this leukaemia journey alone, we had angels amongst us……all our friends and family, who held our hands, sent comforting messages and shared their love.

Farewell my love, till we meet again.


Simon’s Words

It took Steven a long time but he eventually saw the light. We were sitting at Marcus’s parents house in Constantia when it dawned on Steven, with perhaps a little bit of help from his friends, that what he was really interested in was not horses but boats. We… he took the decision that he was going to flog the horse, the horse box and all the horse paraphernalia and buy a hobiecat. We helped Steven to decide that the hobie would be called, much to the ire of a number of horsey folk present, Bye-Bye Horsey. Steven bought the boat and it was a fine boat, with a fine name, but there was one technical difficulty. It was only after the purchase was made that Steven remembered that when you take a hobie out you get wet, normally very wet, and normally in very cold Atlantic Ocean water. The result was that the hobie spent many many happy hours, sitting in his garden of 18 Blenheim Road Diepriver.

But then Steven bought a powerboat. A Malibu waterski-ing boat with a 115 hp V4 engine. It was a mean machine, when it ran. Steven unfortunately bought the boat, the trailer and the engine all for the grand sum of R17,000, which anyone who’s been around boats for a while will tell you is not a good idea. As a result we spent less time driving the boat around Langebaan lagoon than we did driving the boat back to Paarden Eiland to get the engine fixed. This was Ali’s first introduction to Steven and boats and while boating might have been right up Steven’s alley it certainly wasn’t up Ali’s alley. Every morning when Steven opened the garage door he saw his boat, the physical embodiment of the free human spirit and a vivid reminder of wild and untamed open spaces. When Ali opened the garage door, she never saw a boat, all she saw was an ugly black monster whose sole purpose was to swallow huge chunks of money every couple of weeks.

There was only one thing for it and Steven made the right decision, he sold the boat… and bought a bigger and better boat. An Angler Countess with a brand new 115 Hp Mercury 4 stroke engine that cost more than all his previous boats put together. Steven launched that boat at almost every slipway within 100 miles of Cape Town, freshwater and salt, legal and illegal, and we had tremendous fun aboard it.

But during this time Ali’s involvement was not going unnoticed.

When I was 10 years old the most popular shows on TV were the cowboy shows, Bonanza, High Chaparal etc. Even at 10 years of age I noticed that one got two types of men in these shows. There were cowboys who rode into town on horses, they spent most of their time in bars, had two six guns strapped to his side and generally didn’t take any crap from anyone. And then there were what was called family men. A family man usually rode into town on a wagon. He steered clear of the bars, had no six guns on his side, and seemed to spend most of his time doing maintenance on his house. In the “cowboy years” we spent much of our free time doing as much damage to 18 Blenheim Road Diepriver as possible. Glowing path lights elevated a few feet off the ground look just like soccer balls at 2am in the morning, just ask Neil Kinrade. If you visit Steven and Alison’s house now you will see that 3 Bramble Way is a warm, welcoming and happy house. Quality maintenance never hurt anyone, but the warmth of 3 Bramble Way comes from something else. Steven had become a family man… 

Don’t think for one moment this was against his will. Ali will vouch for the fact that Steven never did anything against his will. The remarkableness of this story is that Steven became a family man with Ali, Jess, Rosie, Bruce and Whiskers because he wanted to.

Now this wasn’t without its complications. I need not tell you that life is not simple. So when we planned our next adventure we were met with some unexpected resistance. At the beginning of this year Steven and I started planning a trip through Africa, from Cape Town to Greece. The lifespan of this plan was captured on email, so I’m able to give it to you verbatim…

click here to see email printout (read from bottom)

It was shortly thereafter that Steven was diagnosed with leukemia.

Steven’s capabilities were significant. Since BPM was incorporated in 198?? Steven and Henry, together with the BPM management team of Alison, Anne, Graeme, Glenda and Edward have built BPM into a substantial business. During one of my many periods of unemployment Steven and I spent time studying the dynamics of the business together and I visited every single powertool shop in Cape Town. I can tell you that BPM is a highly profitable business rivaled by perhaps only one other powertool business in Cape Town, but what I want to tell you about is the real BPM. The real BPM is about being Steven and Henry being very good at what they do. It is about Steven and Henry having a real interest in their work and jobs that come in the door, its about getting involved such that the satisfaction of the customer becomes a source of personal satisfaction. What Steven and Henry have built in their field is a centre of technical excellence. This, together with a culture of mutual respect amongst all at BPM, and one has the opportunity to be the best at what you do. It is just this which creates significance in one’s work, and it is from significance that life begins to fill with meaning. Some of the most wealthy and powerful organizations in the world are unable to create (or buy) what Steven and Henry has created in BPM.  

I mentioned that Steven’s capabilities were significant and this included his ability to talk a lot of bull. One Friday evening, during the “cowboy years”, Steven and I had been out late and returned home quite tired. We were skipping TV channels and settled briefly on a CNN documentary about Aid volunteers in the Middle East. CNN was interviewing an American female Aid worker who was assisting victims of a terrorist attack. I mentioned to Creswell that the Aid worker wasn’t too bad and if I was in Beirut I would like to take her rowing in the park, which for us was standard conversation at 2am on a Saturday morning. Steven blurted out something along the lines of “we’re not in that league boet” and disappeared off to the kitchen to get himself another beer mug of Cape Velvet cream.

Steven was one of the most authentic, real and humble persons I have ever met in my entire life. I know for a fact that he was talking a lot of bull that night because it was only shortly thereafter that he met and married Alison.

Steven was a hands-on and practical person but for someone without academic training he wasn’t averse to academic discussions. Provided his arm was charged with a large glass, one could easily hit Steven with “where do you stand on psychic reality?” Where many people would immediately start talking about domestic servants, Steven would produce a bemused smile and say “I’m listening…” I think if we were ever sober long enough to discuss psychic reality, or if the Multichoice condensed Carl Jung’s writings into a 3 part mini-series televised on the Action channel, psychic reality would have resonated with Steven.

Carl Jung is one of the most respected thinkers the world has ever produced. The questions he discusses at 2am is what is the source of our enthusiasms, inspirations, and our heightened feeling for life? Why do people write poetry? Why is it that, as we stand here, we’re unable to control our tears even though we’d prefer not to cry? Jung concluded that it is our human spirit. Now Steven and I were also very familiar with the spirit at 2am in the morning, although this tended to be the alcoholic spirit.

Cres would have granted me 2 minutes of ramblings before returning us to more pressing matters, such as the relative merits of the Evinrude E-Tec versus the Yamaha 4 stroke, so I have to talk quickly…

In mankind’s quest to understand the world we’ve broken our experiences into two discrete parts, material and spiritual. Psychic reality gives credence to both our experiences. With time western culture will move away from our preoccupation with our material world and return to acknowledge all our experiences, in their original and full oneness.

Did I see the human spirit in Steven? I saw a 21 year old boy who had a relationship with his horse Ona that was so strong the two of them were able to steal away a trophy from the finest adult riders in the land. I saw a man who would wait for the worst weather before launching his boat, so that we could head out into the storm, feel the slap of the sea, and the wind and the salt in our faces.

Steven’s life was full of spirit. It is this same spirit which, after his body has passed away, lives on.

Or to say this in Steven’s words…  “let the force be with you!”

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